This is actually getting a little harder than I thought, but that's the the way life is, at least sometimes.
I often wondered as I sat in my office, how the hell did I get here and someone else got there? It is over time that maybe true wisdom comes, but I am not so sure about that. I always had a pretty big chip on my shoulder, so let's just say the universe works in mysterious ways.
I was working my rear end off, doing everything necessary in a growing business that nobody else really seemed to really care about. You know I was the first one there and the last one out. It was a big deal when I got a key and a security code for locking up this 104,000 square ft building with probably $3-4 million dollars sitting right underneath my office in inventory, equipment and everything else that goes into a manufacturing operation. I can honestly say to this day, I never even thought about taking a napkin, never mind a case of coffee or something bigger. It kind of felt like it was mine already. I'm sure my boss/owner probably thought the same thing.
You know I came out of the restaurant business. Do you really know what that is like? It is a complete nightmare, where everybody is either trying to steal from you, bury you to get ahead, or running some scam to make money. I never met a waiter, waitress or bartender in my five years in that business that wanted to be what they presently were. That is inherently, a bad thing in business. I kind of always thought, well, you are what you are. Well in the restaurant business you are this until you can become something completely different. Not a good recipe for success. I have been thinking pretty deeply about how full or empty people's lives are lately. It is really amazing how, complicated, funny,sad, appreciative, well there are too many adjectives and adverbs to explain. Anyway, all I have to say is it would be hard to put that ONE defining thing on my gravestone, and that's not because I am being reflective, it is just the simple truth! It is also sad, and in my mind so fragmented it almost doesn't make sense. I have told you all a fragment of how I grew up, but it was general. Do you really want to hear about the violence and true hate I encountered almost on a daily basis, from the time I was 13 or 14 until I was 18? Do you want to know about a kid who was always a dreamer, and no one ever believed his dream or supported one positive thing he wanted to do? Well maybe that's why I was where I was by 1994, but nothing is ever quite perfect for a perfectionist. That is not redundant, it is true. That is what I had become for some unexplainable crazy reason. The kid that wanted to be the next John Lennon or Pete Townsend, became an executive in a coffee manufacturing plant, with 2 kids and a wife! If you asked me in 1977 what I would be doing, this wouldn't even be on the page, never mind, part of a plan. You see I had no plan, I just kind of organically grew into things. I still really can't explain it, but now, I am running a multi-million dollar operation and it felt pretty darn good. Although, nothing has ever been enough! Even though, I was making great money, had free reign on my own decisions on a daily basis, with little or no resistance, something was missing. Something really big. That's all for tonight, and please spread the word about this blog. Yeah it is the one with the stupid name and the heavy content. Don't you think that was on purpose? Or at least an experiment in human nature? Well it is probably neither because I am afraid It could be both??!!??!!