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Ground Zero!! There's Nowhere To Go but Up!!

I am sitting there in the corner office, wow, everything I ever wanted, well sort of. I own the company 100% outright, well, sort of, because I owe the previous owner $450,000 and he is holding the stock incase I don't pay him. Then he gets everything back! So I could fix 98% of the problem, stumble on some unforeseen rock, miss a payment and he gets everything back!! Great deal!! I found out it was ultimately my fault for signing such a one way transaction, but at the time my lawyer's got the wrath of the frustration I felt. You see, I wanted it so bad, I blindly agreed to terms that were not only unrealistic, they were probably insane!! I think I took the whole, don't let anything stop you from you attaining your goals, WAAAY to seriously. What had I done? I have signed my life away, assumed all the company's previous debt, which I didn't have a clue of the real amount, and I signed my life away to a bank that didn't care if I lived or was homeless. They just knew they had a guarantee, which they never had before.
I found out relatively quickly that our long time loan officer, had been sent out to pasture, and now I would have to deal with 2 guys, who I have never met, in the workout section! I'll call one Dr. Evil and the other one, the good guy with the fake compassion! It was a circus.On top of getting the daily jabs and hooks from them, I had a business to fix and it wasn't essy. Trying to gain the right leverage to everyone working there, who might have seen me as their boss, but when you own something it is very different. It is a learning experience, because there is no soft side, no, let me run it by the big guy, or, I'll see if I can convince him to do this and that. It was me, and that feeling took a great while to come to terms with. I was immediately separated, I was not just an employee anymore, it was very strange, yet I embraced it, at least most days. Some were better than other's but at least I knew from the get go, it was all on me now, no veto's, no good job but we're doing this, it was my way or, wait for it, or I was wrong!! I know you thought the highway!! but that is not who I was, I wasn't going to be the all powerful Oz. I knew I needed talented people I could trust around me, I knew I didn't know everything, but I was intuitive, and I knew I had the business sense. It is just hard when you are paying a bank, $47,000 in interest, trying to keep the creditor's from barking at your door, and trying to identify what we have to do to move forward, and succeed, just not survive! I was $5.4 million in debt and I was hanging on by a thread, but I wasn't letting go, even if the thread broke through to my knuckles! I shouldn't say I didn't care, because I deeply did, but my ultimate responsibility was to my family, and I had to make this work, somehow, some way. So I used to spend a lot of lonely nights on my deck, looking up at the stars for answers, they shined back at me, but unfortunately they didn't illuminate or give me the insight to save my business. But what a time, talk about feeling alive, what a rush!!! Here we go! Thanks, for reading, Joe

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